The Way of Voice Dialogue

I've often been asked the question: "How many Voice Dialogue sessions will I need?"

I can understand the desire for such a definitive answer, whether it be because a person wants to have an issue resolved for once and for all, or if someone wants to reach some goal in consciousness, which, once they have attained it, means they will have no need for further work. But the truth is that you can never have enough sessions but also that you may not even need all that many (yes, I know, a statement which appears to be contradictory, which is typical of many spiritual and consciousness paths - but bear with me).

Although Voice Dialogue is a therapeutic tool, and I believe is the most effective of such tools, and it is also the quickest and most direct route to an expansion of consciousness, for me it is also much more than that: your entire journey through life can be lived according to 'the way of Voice Dialogue'. What this means to me is that I perceive the people, things and events around me and affecting me as a part of me, maybe a part I know well or maybe a part I haven't yet met, or a part I would rather not meet. I see the world as a mirror of myself but one which is in constant relationship with me. The boundary where I begin and the outside world ends is a boundary which is malleable, sometimes distinct, at other times more blurry, and at yet other times it is a boundary I am in charge of.

If I go about my day paying attention to what life brings to me and to my responses to those things life brings, I become increasingly aware of where my comfort zones, judgments and blind spots lie. If I look at everything and everyone as a part of myself, as a member of my inner family, and I respond to it all/them all with a mix of acknowledgement, curiosity and respect required of the situation, while at the same time being aware of how people and things are affecting me, then, to me, I am living Voice Dialogue. That is, I am in a process of becoming more conscious. My reactions and responses tell me where I'm at, and the outside world tells me what is. I then continue to move on with my life with that information, sometimes not being able to do much with it except carry it with me, but at other times enjoying those 'ahaa' moments when something has real meaning for me and I feel myself grow and become richer and more compassionate.

I want to point out that I am neither advocating narcissism when I say I see the world as a part of me, nor am I trying to feel loving of and friendly toward each person I come across. For I am not referring to 'me' as a primary self, or the ego. Of course if a self were to see everything external as belonging to it and related to it exclusively, then narcissism would result, as it unfortunately has in many people on a path of personal growth where this understanding is not clear. And, likewise, if you feel loving towards everyone then you are identified with a self who feels that way and are unable to tap into discernment or even alarm when those feelings might be useful, even crucial.

What I mean when I say that the world is a mirror, that everyone is a part of me, is similar to how the ancient Indian texts describe us all as one. We have our individuality but the 'I' we all share and which is part of a greater 'I' becomes, soon after birth, even before probably, bound to the selves which form and arrive with us, to enable us to relate with the world. So our 'I' becomes identified with a self or group of selves and we lose our connection to other selves and to the greater whole. (The video I linked to on my Facebook page - Jeremy Rifkin on "the empathic civilisation" illustrates this process and how we can also evolve - and in fact are evolving - to become more empathic, if we allow ourselves to communicate/relate with one another - the video is not about Voice Dialogue and the aware ego but its content supports the idea of the aware ego process, in the way that it is about reaching out to and embracing 'the other'.)

This 'way' is all about relationship: our relationship with ourselves - our selves; our relationships with our partners, which give us priceless teachings; our relationships with our children who not only mirror us and teach us but also give us unconditional love and are among the most forgiving people we will encounter; our relationships with our parents, friends, colleagues and neighbours; our relationship with the natural world around us; our relationship with the spiritual world; and our relationship with the unconscious, the all-pervading, all-knowing intelligence which, if we are willing to listen to, will guide us.

If we look at each and every person who comes into our lives as a self, in much the same way as we meet the selves in a Voice Dialogue session, we can discover just as much as we can in a formal session - and our aware ego process can continue to develop. This way requires that we simply relate with each person we meet with the attitude we would use in a Voice Dialogue session, and when we realise that we are stuck in judgment (or awe) about someone, or we can't help but become enmeshed with someone, or any other response where we lose the ability to relate with consciousness, then we can go and have a formal session, or countless sessions if that is what it takes, on that issue.

That is the 'Way of Voice Dialogue' for me.