I watched the first Pirates of the Caribbean film with my kids the other day and found myself wishing I could meet, maybe run off with for a while, or even be Captain Jack Sparrow. He's not even real, just a fictitious character, although Johnny Depp who plays him is gorgeous enough. I even checked to see if there is a Facebook page about Jack Sparrow - there is! - and thought about dying my hair dark and changing the way I dress.
You may think I'm crazy but this fantasy was a lot of fun and I've calmed down a bit over the last few days. I've also discussed it with my husband and he also would love to dress like a pirate at times and roam the world in total freedom.
Now it's not only the fact that Jack Sparrow is a pirate that's the appealing thing - none of the other pirates in the film had any effect on me. It's that Jack is meant to be this tough and mean pirate Captain yet he's so totally in touch with his vulnerability and other more sensitive characteristics, and is unashamedly happy to display them. He also has a delicious sense of humour, is basically a 'good guy', and is just a little crazy. He's the opposite to how we are meant to behave in our sophisticated Western societies. And even though he is meant to be on the wrong side of the law he in fact is more moral and achieves greater good than the guys on the 'right' side.
The lesson in the fascination for me included to lighten up a little, to remember to question the rules our culture and its institutions want us to live by and make sure they are really right for me, and generally to get back in touch with energies that being a responsible parent doesn't allow for.
If others are also feeling the attraction of the eccentric pirate energy of Jack Sparrow, which I suspect they are, given the huge popularity of the movie, maybe there's a lesson in his character for us all?
For more information about how we all identify with only a small part of ourselves and so are attracted to our disowned parts in other people, see my website voicedialogue.com
For how this works in our romantic relationships, see The Greatest Relationship Secret